sixfuzzyslippers

Today's topic? Kaiti's latest theory. Now, I know what you're thinking. But not in the clairvoyant way, more in the I don't really care if it is what you are thinking or not kind of way. And what you are thinking is that this theory is probably just going to be whiny, self indulgent crap in some pathetic attempt to garner sympathy. You're also right, though I maintain it was just luck. So I've been real funky of late. Real funky. Unfortunately my funky involves extreme emotional lows and no sequins whatsoever, which is a huge let down in and of itself. And when Kaiti get's funky, watch out. More like pretend you don't know her. Here's my latest theory at any rate. It all begins with kids.

Kids, kids kids. See, kids are an amazing thing. Things. Whatever. The thing is (ah, precise diction at its best), you can just sort of throw a bunch of kids of the same age together, and kind of assume they will get along reasonably well. At least lazy parents seem to do this all the time. I remember I was always resentful when my parents conveniently lumped me off with some punk just because we were the same general age. But this is actually going a long way to hurt my little theory, so I'm just going to stop that thread right there. As children get older though, problems begin to emerge. They experience drastically different things, and therefore become different people. Rich and poor, happy family unhappy family etc. It just adds up to a bunch of really different, messed up people.

But I'm getting ahead of myself so back to the point, if I still have one. Right now it really feels like life is kind of a movement away. Initially you have lots of friends/people with similar experiences, but the older you get the more alone you become. As I meet new people I find fewer and fewer people that I really feel I can share a lot with. Lots of nice people, not too many kindred spirits. This is mixed with the invariable separation and distancing of old friends. They go different places, do different things and move further away from what used to make up a large part of both of you. So what this all comes down to is a loss of genuine human connection.

It's just frusterating to lose those connections with people. When you still feel like you can complete the other person's sentences, but just end up being horribly wrong. Saying things around old friends that brings about the awkward aversion of eyes or worse still, blank stare. And realizing that most new friendships are based on convenience and necessity and less on real commonalities. There is no more desperate sensation than twisting yourself to be more accomadating to something you simply are not and never will be. So, basically right now it seems like the longer you are alive, the less friends you have and the more alone in your life you become.

I'm completely bored. I started writing a journal entry in my Xanga, but it turned into a short story, so I put it up here. Go read it. It'll prove that I'm crazy, and maybe you'll be able to figure out all the metaphors and symbols. But probably not.

How does one change the little display pic for the poetry and prose?

OK, 3 new pics for you. Actually they're kind of old, but I just uploaded. There's supposed to be one more but my computer is being freaky and won't let me load it. enjoy.

Go me! I wrote a poem that *isn't* romance! yee-haw, and all that! Anyway, I haven't posted in awhile, but I should have a few more pictures withing the next week or so.